Spaciousness!
By Kathie Houchens, March 27, 2013
Aha! A new discovery! The illusive formula for “happiness” may lie
in this concept: spaciousness. For
decades I have clung to the theme of “come as a child” that seemed to me to be key to experiencing life in a way that liberates rather than constrains. I have underlined books, copied quotes into
notebooks, kept a computer file of links and references and even started this
blog hoping that putting the title “out there” in a public way would propel my
thoughts and energies into making sense of it.
I intend to gather it all and organize ideas within the theme, but the
task is daunting and I am a timid writer, especially when it comes to exposing
weakness. Children seem bolder than
that, as I observe the real-life creativity of my grandchildren. So I take some toddling steps now and begin
to “walk” into the unknown in exploration of this idea.
Recent reading has
turned up the word: spaciousness. That’s
it, I believe. Unscheduled time for
listening to inner urges to follow the energy of the present moment. Is it to rest, to listen to birdsong, to walk
along a creek, to pick up a pen, a paintbrush, a trowel? Could I spend a day without wearing a watch,
without a glance at calendar or computer?
How programmed I have been to fill every minute of my life with some productive
activity! All are good, but not
necessarily life-giving in the bigger picture.
What bravery would it take to re-claim the chance to “just be with what
is,” as the contemplatives would encourage?
One step in that
direction might be to relinquish the quest to “be a success.” My inner judge has a long list of criteria,
accumulated through the decades as I measured myself against the lives and
accomplishments of those I admire. Books
published, awards won, salaries earned, degrees achieved, positions gained,
travel completed, and on and on. Next
to the composite greatness of others, I am nothing. But maybe out of that sense of smallness I
can return to the best sense of who I am.
I am created by the Great Creator God, named “I AM”, who values me,
gives me MY identity, too, as “i am”, and who offers me continuous presence and
possibility. Time is timeless for this
great LOVE that was and is and will be.
To exit my “chronos” frame of
mind and enter “kairos”, that spacious
place of universe and cosmos, that is the gift of knowing and accepting the
Truth that IS freeing.
I set my intention now,
to step, however timidly, across this threshold, this liminal place of hope
and promise, sensing that this is where Easter’s Resurrection is found.
